Why do you feel depressed? Here are the 7 most common patterns I've found from working with depressed or anxious clients. As you're reading, keep a running list of all the points you identify with. If you're nodding to more than three, then make sure you read the "next steps" section at the end of the article.
1) You think you "shouldn't" feel depressed or anxious
People who are depressed obsess how "it's not normal to feel this way", which often leads feeling even more depressed. My take? Depression is an emotion. Bring me a single person in the universe who has never felt depressed – you couldn't! So, in this sense, aren't we all depressed and not depressed at some point in our life? If everyone experiences it, wouldn't you say it's a part of normal life?
2) You make yourself wrong and everyone else right
You put incredible amounts of pressure on yourself to make the right choice. Every other sentence consists of the word "should" - "I should feel this way", "I should do this", "I should act this way". You often look for external validation and measure yourself up against unforgivable standards. The question is, whose standards are you trying to meet? Who dictates what the "right" choice is? Finally, what if you could start living by your own rules and know you've made the "right" choice, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says?
3) You don't trust yourself
In the same vein as point #2, you've looked to everything and everyone outside of you to tell you what to do for so long that you've become completely disconnected from yourself. You forgot what it's like to check-in with yourself and trust your decisions. The key here is to begin to take baby steps towards learning how to trust that gut feeling that only you have - also known as your intuition.
4) You feel like you'll never figure out your purpose and what you're meant to be doing
When you're feeling depressed, it's easy to think that everyone else has it together and knows exactly who they are and what they want. The truth is, you already know what your purpose is, you just haven't admitted it to yourself yet! With this one, I recommend finding great practitioner that can ask the right questions to help you get clear on your purpose.
5) You believe deep down you weren't loved
This is a big one. Feeling depressed comes from having a deep-rooted belief that on some level, at some point, you weren't loved or you don't deserve to be loved. In my heart of hearts, I am certain that this is a lopsided perception that you've been holding onto for too many years. What if I told you there was a way to smash these lopsided perceptions so that you know you were always loved beyond any measure? So far, the Equilibration Process is the single method that I know of that can offer this massive shift in perception.
6) You've been living your entire life according to someone else's values
If I asked you what your top three values are, would you know what they are? When you don't know your values in life, you start subordinating to other peoples values. Let me explain. It's like when a parent tells you that you "should like school and learning". This is something that may be valuable to them, but it may be absolutely dull to you. But if you don't know what's important to you, then you begin to feel that you "should" think that learning (or whatever other people are pressuring you towards) is important. In other words, you're completely unaware of your identity, which is inevitably going to leave you feeling depressed.
7) You believe everyone else is better than you
You put everyone else on a pedestal and you've got yourself in the pit. The result? Heart-wrenching, painful, low self-worth. It eats you up and it runs your life. The truth is, you've got something awesome to offer, you just haven't seen it in yourself yet.
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." — Richard Bach
If you're ready to step up and out of your depression, I always recommend working with a practitioner so they can help guide you along the way. Ideally, find someone who doesn't make you feel like something is wrong with you and instead educates you on what depression actually is (an emotion!) and how you can overcome it. The most important thing here is to find someone who whole-heartedly believes that you can overcome depression and will focus on getting you to re-connect with yourself, your intuition and your values.
Finally, to get the best results, work with someone who can help you work through your depression on both the conscious and subconscious levels. A Kinesiologist uses muscle-testing to access the subconscious mind to figure out if there are any hidden sabotages that are getting in the way of you moving forward.